A nation of sheep begets a government of wolves

My commiserations

Somewhere in the totalitarian East.

(Several people step out of the plane)

-loud confident voice greets them- Welcome to the island my dear visitors! I see you are accompanied by several of our locals. I hope you’ve had a nice trip and being treated well. Come! Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Adjutant. Spokesman of the Glorious Party that brought richness and prosperity to this glorious nation of ours.

(turning to the locals) Please continue to be a very good citizen and continue to work hard. We need your hard-earned money to make this economy grow. Our very coffers depend on it-

(interruption: i’m broke, sir. i need to support my family. i would like to get a loan..)

I’m sorry you cannot have that money until you are either very old or just recently died. No, no…not even a loan. It’s policy, my dear man, I’m sorry. My associate will help you with your woes.

(turning to the visitors) Well then, as I was saying, our streets are clean and safe. We have plenty of jobs lined up for our citizens and the unemployment rate is at its lowest. Although we are kind of crowded at the present but I assure you overpopulation is never a problem. In fact it is a boon! While it does lead to economic instability and social unrest but then we get more power and control! Isn’t that a good thing? And to add, this is a land of opportunity for everyone! Which is why we are bringing far more more talents here. Imagine a computer, we are the computer that is, with more and more memory added, it can never hang. Don’t you agree?

(pop quiz: Have you heard the term GIGO?)

No. Sounds offensive. I don’t like it. What is that?

(answer: garbage in garbage out)

-sporadic laughter-

(Cynical look)

(another question: does the government advocate rights of expression?)

You mean basic rights of freedom? (tsk!) We have many ways for consultation and avenues where the public can address their concerns to the respective ministries. You see most of us are normal because we so adjusted with our existence and silence that we no longer suffer symptoms as the neurotic does! At any rate, we have a dedicated hospital for the mentally infirmed, just in case. We are a perfectly abnormally normal people! Isn’t that a good thing? We don’t need protests and incivility here. We are a deindividualized society; uniformity and conformity! By God, we are civil, aren’t we? Now tell me, isn’t that a good thing?

(comment: The beauty of tidiness is a common justification for despotism.)

What are you? A political scientist? (laughs)

(a shout: bollocks! we ain’t got rights!)

Who said that?! Arrest that young man!

(wipes sweat) Oh I am sorry I got carried away. Ah that man again. -sigh- He is very much a political gangster, much of a nuisance if you’d like. Always yelling for democratic reforms and inciting bad things to destabilize this country. Our style of governance is impeccable because all of us are highly efficient and honest! Just read our world-class daily paper-

(interjection: World-class? Your paper is ranked amongst the lowest in the world.)

Really? So cares as long we tell our people the real truth that we are telling the truth. I bet Castro is saying the same thing about Granma Diario and I totally agree with him.

(question: What will happen that guy? That political terrorist as you were mentioning.)

Well, we will have to rehabilitate him and the others like him without trial. There are no courts in the land for these people. And in isolation. After being subjected to stresses and imprisonment for a length of time, he will emerge a better man. Well, most of them do. Others went raving mad. But a new man, ready for again for his society. But if his condition have deteriorated to a point of psychosis, then I’m afraid he will be admitted to the loony bin for his own good and the good of the society. A psychotic is no good for the fabric for the nation, unless he is a neurotic soldier who have seen his share of madness. It’s for the good of the country, we manage everything and make sure it runs like clockwork, now isn’t that a good thing?

(comment: That is hideous! How can you do such thing to a man? It has all the hallmarks of a totalitarian society!)

Wait a minute. We are not a one-party state. Oh heavens no! We have opposition members of parliament. Several buggers from some dysfunctional party. He-he. That should be enough because they do nothing but talk anyways. We are the majority and they are just a distraction. We are the good news. Everyday is nothing but good news about the country. The citizens know this. They see this every day on the telly and papers. Good news, day in, day out-

(question: Are the mass media and rotary press state-controlled?)

That is correct. We are in control of everything. We cannot leave these citizens on their own. We groom them from young to be a good citizen right when they are in kindergarten. Our party ensures everyone has the right education! Good thing eh? You see, our people are immature and incapable of thinking at times. They leave everything to us. We just determine what is best for them. Determining not dictating, I assure you. Political virgins some might say! What a delicious phrase!


(question: i’m sorry i don’t understand. what is funny here? Mass communication if used in another fashion is among the most powerful weaponry in the dictator’s armory.)

Oh shut up.

You see, people here, my good folks are generally very happy and content. We have a thriving arts scene; people can dance and sing as much as they want and be happy. And we give them money from time to time of what we’d called packages. That would suffice wouldn’t it? You see we are a very charitable government and we want the world to emulate our remarkable style of governance. (did you get that recorded?)

-sincere smile-
(kodak moment. cameras flashes)

Right, you may find businesses here where you can invest your money and make more money in the process. It’s all money here and we assure you that your business is taken care of once you swore allegiance to us. (firm handshake) Here’s my party card. That’s the number of the boss. We have the best public housing in all of the world and an extraordinary government which is so honest you can trust them bring them home to see your grandmother, even with a meat cleaver! Honestly! Isn’t that a good thing? Why then our citizens pay us millions?

(shock and awe)

-uncomfortable silence-

(another question: did you just take or ask them?)

Of course not! We polled them and get their favorable response. Most of them do not mind because we are the most efficient and effective government on the face of the planet. Others are too plain dumb to ask or know what’s going on. That’s the beauty of our unique society. It is unassailable and unmolested. And we are so bloody rich! I mean the country, of course. Just look around you. Isn’t this island lovely? There are no homeless or wandering nomads here. Poverty has been completely eradicated, my friends! ERADICATED! We should receive the Nobel prize for this remarkable achievement. Everyone can now afford a home in our housing plans. That’s a good thing definitely! We even have a fun corner where people can speak freely! Now how democratic can that be-

(interjection: i understand there is speaking permit involved?) Permit? Oh yes, my good man, they have to get a permit before they speak-

(shouts: My commiserations, sir but i think you’re a fascist!)

What?! What is your name?? That is an insult to my credibility. What is your name? Have this man arrested!

(You cannot stop us all, you despot!)

An outrage!!! Throw them both in jail for very long time without trial! I cannot believe the venom I am hearing-

(Good Lord, why are you throwing them in jail? Just because of their allegations? Is this the quality of government you are bragging about?)

The consternation! I’ll sue you! You will be hearing from my lawyers!! You’d be so broke pigeons will throw bread at you when you walk in the park damn you!!!

(Sue us all. Jail us. You cannot STOP US ALL!)

(Wait! Wait! What are the charges? This is madness!)

I’ll show you madness you serf! I will sue all of you! The whole jamboree LOT of you!! I will sue you to kingdom come!!!

(Everyone are whisked away including the rowdy locals.)

-uncomfortable silence again-

Well then is there anyone else with questions?


(whisper: sir , everyone’s in jail, sir)

Did we get all their money? Alas there is no one else. Now isn’t that a good or a bad thing?

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